Last week, I examined the corruption and hidden motives of Princess Toadstool and company, and, as promised, I'm going to take a look at the rogue military faction that's been running an unsuccessful coup for the past 25 years. I was going to feature Bowser like I had Mario and Peach, but there's really nothing to say about him that hasn't been said in the last article. Instead I'm going to take a look at a few smaller players in the Koopa Troop.
The Koopa Troop
The main force behind Bowser's army actually seems to have a military-like chain of command, with ranks represented by advances in weaponry and bodily modifications. Regular Koopa Troopas are like privates, the basic foot soldier. Koopa Paratroopas are the next rank up, and have wings grafted onto them to show their heightened ability and position. The Hammer Bros. (or Boomerang, Fire and Ice Bros. depending on region) would be next, still primarily fighting directly on the battlefield, but supplied with better weaponry (as in any weaponry at all) and possessing superior skills. Lakitu would be the colonels, I suppose, mostly commanding a battalion of Spinys and keeping away from the fray in their clouds. The generals of Bowser's Koopa Troop would have to be the Magikoopas. Their skills in magic allow them to escape the battle whenever they're endangered, and they even serve as advisors to the Koopa King, most specifically Kamek, who is likely Bowser's second-in-command. There are fluctuations among the ranks depending on shell color and size, but for the most part this appears to be the basic structure of the Koopa Hierarchy.
Like this.
The Goombas
More or less, the plight of the Goomba and the plight of the Toad are one and the same: a self-run society of mushroom men taken over by an invading royal of another species. Both are forced into service and obedience thanks to lies and a fraudulent struggle. In the case of the Goombas, the promise of a good life in the Mushroom Kingdom keeps them loyal, despite the fact that they live in filth as slaves/soldiers. Prior to Bowser's arrival, the Goombas were most likely living in some sort of peaceful anarchy, something tribal and unorganized. The outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom, where Bowser makes his home, are a barren horrible wasteland for the most part. This is where the Goombas lived, so they didn't have a lot of resources. They stumble around, often walking off of cliffs or directly into danger, so they clearly aren't super bright. Primitive, unpleasant lifestyle aside, at least they were free men before Bowser took over.
The Koopalings
Bowser's first seven children (screw Bowser Jr., that unoriginal obnoxious little pussball) have served as governors-of-sorts under Bowser's rule on several occasions, each receiving their own World to run (I feel sorry for the one who gets stuck ruling Cloud World). If you need proof that Bowser's threat to the Mushroom Kingdom is phony and that Mario's murderous rampage is a propaganda act where he's destined to succeed, look no further than these guys. Roy, Iggy, Lemmy, Morton Jr., Wendy, Ludwig, and Larry Koopa (counterclockwise from left, and without having to look up their names) are never in any danger. They stage a duel because Mario enjoys a fight and the Goombas need to witness their rulers getting hurt so they have a cause to rally around, but the Koopalings always come up unscathed in the end. Bowser's a cruel, evil dictator, but he's a good father and would never let his offspring get injured. They get to play "Dictator" and drag out the phony crusade, but at the end of the game they go home to a warm bowl of soup and a bedtime story from the Koopa King.King Boo, Petey Piranha, and other Bosses
The Goombas were basically a dim, leaderless race before Bowser and the Koopas took over, but the other enemy species seem to have had their own small kingdoms and government systems originally. "Luigi's Mansion" introduced us to King Boo, who was later confirmed to be in cahoots with the Koopa King in "Super Mario Sunshine." "Sunshine" also introduced breakout villain Petey Piranha, who's name in Japan translates to "Boss Piranha," as well as a Boss Wiggler and Gooper Blooper. Shortly after their introduction, they all started to make appearances in the Kart races and sporting events. Seemingly, Bowser is getting cozy with these Bosses in exchange for loyalty from their respective kingdoms under the Koopa umbrella. They serve as the leadership for the piranha plants, boos, insects, sea creatures and the like, but answer to the Koopa King. There also exists a Goomboss, but I believe he was a plant, someone Bowser introduced fairly recently so that the Goombas don't feel left out. I mean, just look at him.
Look at the crossed googly eyes, the slack jaw, the poofy Hammerpants. This Goomba is clearly a mentally-deficient oaf with no real power, a figurehead so that a former structureless commune can feel like they have a say in their oppressive government. While Petey, King Boo, and the other Bosses sit at a table in the War Room with Bowser, Goomboss sits in the corner with a coloring book.
So those are the basic components of the Koopa complex. Tune in for the next installment of Super Mario '84 to learn where the Kong Kingdom, Sarasaland, and Subspace fit in in this scheme.
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