My thoughts on 2009, Part Three

Top 4 Most Disappointing Movies of 2009

4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Now, it's not like I ever expected a movie about the least-interesting, yet inexplicably popular X-men to be any good, but I had expected something more than this. This was such an empty, careless effort. The story is "Wolverine walks from fight scene to fight scene as decades pass with no consequence" and you can almost taste the apathy from everyone involved. It's like the writer, director and cast all suddenly realized that they were in a movie about Wolverine.

3. 9 - As my previous movie lists have established, small-budget movies make me drool. I wanted "9" to be good, but it isn't. It isn't bad. It isn't anything memorable or notable. It's a sequence of pretty cool action scenes and occasionally-beautiful animation with terrible dialogue and a story that starts nowhere, goes nowhere, and ends nowhere. I felt like I was watching a video game I couldn't play, but would have liked to.

2. Paranormal Activity - Shut up, guy, you're a douchebag. Shut up, lady, you're really annoying. Don't do that, that's stupid. Quite arguing, you both suck. This is a really lame movie. Oh, that was kind of cool. That's sort of creepy. Now they're back to being annoying. Shut up. Shut up. When is the demon going to eat them? Dammit, not this again. Oh, that was pretty cool. I hate you both. The ending had better be fantastic. Oh shit, what was that!? Oh shit, that was the end? That was all? Oh well, at least I got my friends to see a horror movie.

1. (500) Days of Summer - This is not a love story, this is a story about two undeveloped characters who don't have personalities so much as they have playlists of hip music. Except for the part where the obvious flaws in the relationship make it fall apart gloriously and painfully, this is every romantic comedy you've ever seen. Stylistically, it's just two notches off of clever so that even the denser members of the audience can understand the symbolism and imagery used, and the final bit of dialogue is the single worst grouping of words ever filmed and I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. The movie was passably forgettable until almost literally the final word, then it went the other half of the way to Crapville.

Top 3 Best Internet Finds/Developments, AKA the Throwaway List

3. Change your Profile Pic to your favorite Pokemon - That was fun. It was good to see just how many people still love Pokemon. I was seriously surprised by some of the people I saw change theirs, and especially those who went with newer Pokemon. Good for you guys for admitting to liking one of the games that came out after you were 10.

2. Look at that Ball State Steffan - Just look at him!

1. Dirpy.com - Finally, that live version of that song you saw on YouTube can be on your iPod, as well as anything else you so please. I have added so much to my iTunes collection thanks to Dirpy. This is seriously the most useful thing I've found online since YouTube itself. Let's hope it doesn't get shut down or anything.

Top 2 Albums of 2009 (Yes, That's it.)

2. I'm Going Away - The Fiery Furnaces - The Fiery Furnaces are one of my lucky discoveries of this year. I first read about them in a Questionable Content comic of all places, and they're a lot of fun. They're kind of hard to get in to, like a more pop-indy Tom Waits. It's noisy, it's strange, but it's infectious once you understand it. This album's a good place to start, it isn't ultra-conceptual like some of their other stuff. It's pretty accessible.

1. It's Blitz - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Of course it's the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Not only that, it's Yeah Yeah Yeahs you can dance to! Not their best work, but I can certainly appreciate them trying something new. If this were "Fever to Tell 3" I'd be disappointed even if it were just as good as the first, frankly.

Top 1 Most Pretty Good, but Not Wonderful Movie of 2009

1. The Brothers Bloom - I liked it. Seeing this after eating Chinese take-out by the river in downtown Newburgh was a good summer afternoon. It's appropriately quirky and with enough plot twists and red herrings to make you feel smart whenever you accurately guess where it's going. Even still, I don't remember a whole lot of the intricacies and don't see myself renting this one anytime soon, as there are much better movies I've yet to see. Even still, this one deserved a bigger audience. It's pretty good.

So there you have it. I'll probably end up making a Decade-In-Review list sometime before I return to campus, if you care to read about that. Happy New Year.