MLIOK

Today, my old man gave me a carton of cigarettes for Christmas. He grabbed me and said "Hey, smoke up, Johnny." MLIBC

Today, my best friend Hank kept calling me Bill. My name is Lenore. MLIKOTH

Today, I had to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover some lame local feature story for my TV station. I spent the day trying to get to know my producer better. MLIGD



Today, I had to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover some lame local feature story for my TV station. I spent the day trying to get to know my producer better. MLIGD

Today, I had to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover some lame local feature story for my TV station. I spent the day trying to get to know my producer better. MLIGD

Today, I had to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover some lame local feature story for my TV station. I spent the day trying to get to know my producer better. MLIGD

Today I killed a huge spider, and it had like $5 in it. How did that get in there? MLILOZ

Yesterday I read about that guy who killed the spider and found money. Today I blew up an octopus and found a heart inside. A human heart. MLILOZ

My neighbor's a well-known biologist who's known me since I was a baby. Today he asked me if I was a boy or a girl. MLIPkmn

Today, my old man gave me a carton of cigarettes for Christmas. He grabbed me and said "Hey, smoke up Tony. They're GRRRRRRREAT!" MLIFG

Today I woke up after accidentally being frozen in the year 2000 to be told it was now 3000. I'd been asleep for a million years! MLIF

Today began as Execution Day and sure enough became Execution Day. MLINP

Today, I fell from a slightly larger height than I can jump and died. MLIDKJr

Today, there was something strange in the neighborhood. Nobody called. MLIGB

Today I turned on the faucet to fill my sink. Instead of water; blue paper and plastic wrap and cotton balls came out. MLISOS

I'm blind. Today, a local girl grabbed me by the arm and led me through the streets of Paris describing the sights and happenings of every store and person we passed. Now I'm lost and missed my lunch appointment. MLIA

Today, an 8-foot acidic monster killed all of my friends and coworkers. This could have been avoided were it not for corporate greed and arrogance. MLIA

Today, several 8-foot acidic monsters killed all of my friends and coworkers. This could have been avoided were it not for military greed and arrogance. MLIAs

Today, a poorly-CGed 8-foot acidic monster killed all of my friends and coworkers. This could have been avoided were it not for 20th Century Fox's greed and arrogance. MLIA3

Today, I was cloned and some poorly-CGed 8-foot acidic monsters killed all of my friends and coworkers. Then it got really fucking weird. MLIAR

Today I turned into a robot forgetting that there was still a person sitting in my front seat. I'm afraid to change back; it won't be pretty. MLITF

Today an old Chinese man trusted me with a rare and whimsical creature on the grounds that I follow three basic rules to prevent it from multiplying into murderous beasts. Pssh, whatever, old man. MLIG

Today, I met this funny, unique, free-spirited girl who listens to indie music and probably dyes her hair from time to time. She inevitably likes me even though I'm really plain and pathetic. MLIESOTSM MLIJ MLINANIP MLISTF MLIA MLISP MLIPIP MLISOS MLITLM MLICA MLI40YOV MLITBB MLIA...

Yesterday, I met this funny, unique, free-spirited girl who listens to indie music and probably dyes her hair from time to time. It didn't work out because I'm really plain and pathetic. MLI(500)DOS

Today I got really bored updating my blog and didn't pay attention to how long it was running, even though most of it probably wasn't that good. MLICS