I like Michael Cera. Pretty much any actor who starred or even featured in Arrested Development gets a lifetime pass from me. I don't care if he seemingly plays the same character in every movie he's in, I like the character. Hell, I wouldn't care if he literally played the same character in every movie. George Michael Bluth, wearing the Bluth's Banana Stand uniform in Superbad, Juno and what all else. Tell me that wouldn't be great. He'd be some kind of inter-dimensional traveller, only all of the dimensions would be really similar.
So, today I was thinking, "what if I ran into Mr. Cera some day?" What would I say to him? Would I compliment him on his work? Discuss how great "Scott Pilgrim" is? No and no. I would spend the entire conversation greeting him with a string of long and increasingly ridiculous puns on his name, not letting him get a single word in, then I'd say goodbye. Maybe I'd shake his hand the entire time, not letting go. Maybe not. Anyway, here's what I've come up with so far:
Hey there, Michael Cera,
Michael Cera Palin
Michael Cera Michelle Gellar
Michael Uri Geller
Trichael Cera-tops
Michael Cera-bellum
Mi-Que Sera, Sera
Michael Seraph
That guy from Juno
That guy from Superbad
That guy from Arrested Development
That guy from Adventureland
Michael Sherpa
Michael Sheriff
Michael shot the sheriff
Michael Serif
Michael Sans-Serif
Michael Slab Serif
Michael Script
Mike-helvetica
Michaelangelo, a party dude
Maya Angelou, a party dude
Maya Rudolph
Sonny and Cher-a
My-chael Sharona
Bichael Cycle
MySpace Cera
Miami Vice
Mike check, mike check, you
Mike C, back from the dead
Michael Cerantino
Anyway, big fan, nice meeting you.
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