Stu Pickles, what a guy. Seriously. You want to know how to be an awesome father? Look no further than Stu.
Let's look at the facts:
- Stu Pickles takes an active role in raising his son. He works from home so he can be there for Tommy, while still making plenty of money.
- Just what is his job? He makes toys in his basement. His kids get to grow up in a toy factory. Sure, it led to one of the more horrifying "Rugrats" episodes where it nearly decapitated Chuckie, but as far as Dadjobs go, Toymaker is pretty darn cool.
- He called himself an "inventor," though. I wanted to be an "inventor" when I was little. Thanks for the inspiration, Stu! It didn't go anywhere. Turns out Ball State doesn't offer a "make an assembly line in your basement" degree, or even a single class.
- Stu never forgot how to be a kid. Even though he's a grown man with an infant son, he still watched the weather report whenever it snowed to see if school was cancelled, and ran through the kitchen cheering whenever it was. Seeing as I'm currently wearing a "Doug" T-shirt, own three Mr. Potato Heads, and am writing about a character from "Rugrats," I think the influence of his "grow up, but don't grow old" attitude is evident.
- In that vein, he also knows how to genuinely appreciate what his kid likes, not just clinging to his own childhood. Sure, he loves the "Blocky and Oxwinkle" cartoons from his childhood, but he's an even bigger fan of "The Dummi Bears."
- He also knows how to enjoy himself as an adult. He still hangs out with the guys he went to school with, and made the smart move of having their babies hang out too so they'll have excuses to get together for drinks or to watch a game while still technically watching the kids. Stu doesn't let his family life hinder his social life. He's a success at both.
- He's not afraid to have purple hair. Come on, that's not his natural hairstyle. He's got purple hair and a funky green suit that's always wrinkly and ill-fitting. Dude's a damned punk rocker.
- One time he fell off of a ladder, hitting his head and causing severe brain damage. He devolved to the mental age of an infant, but got better by sheer force of will... after exposing himself to babies to put a diaper on. Come to think of it, that was a pretty creepy episode.
- But Stu's still awesome. When financial troubles caused him to look for a desk job, he made sure to get one that really mattered - lard salesman. He meant business, too, bringing his paperwork/pure lard home with him in his briefcase every day. He wasn't happy with it, but he did it for the sake of his family.
- When he burns a hamburger on the grill, he doesn't throw it away like some stupid asshole. No! He gives it to his dog, because that's how the dog likes them.
- His brother's a snotty rich little prick, but he doesn't let that bother him all that often. I envy Stu's family tolerance.
- Stu gets easily flustered, but never angry, and that's commendable, because frankly, his son is demon-possessed. Really, have you ever seen a child more destructive than Tommy? That kid's ruined small businesses, national television programs, and the stock market, and Stu takes it all in stride. If my kid managed to keep sneaking screwdrivers into his playpen so he could escape, I don't think I could take it.
I salute you, Stuart Pickles. No, I Stu-lute you.
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