The Final Glass Ceiling

Women have made considerable gains in the last fifty years, but there is no question that this is still a male-dominated society. Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin have both been nominated vice president, Hillary Clinton nearly gained the presidential nomination last election, and we currently have a female Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Still, politics is almost entirely a man's game in the U.S. As male-dominated as the world of politics is, however, there is one area in America that is even harsher to women. I'm talking of course about cereal mascots.

Snap, Crackle, Pop, Cap'n Crunch, the Trix Rabbit, Tony the Tiger, the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, Sonny the Cuckoo, Sunny the Sun, Wendell the Baker, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, Yummy Mummy, Fruit Brute, Tucan Sam, Lucky the Leprechaun, that... monster thing from '90s Honeycomb cereal ads, Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble,  C-3PO, and those anthropomorphized abominations from the Apple Jacks ads all have penises, real or implied.

I can't pick a funny caption, so I'm using three less-funny ones:

A. Pictured above: centuries of male oppression.

B. Woah, is this the cereal aisle or the sausage aisle? Am I right, guys?

C. Cereal aisle. Not pictured: "No girls allowed" sign adorably written in magic marker.

Women simply do no exist in today's cereal world. I don't understand it. Sure, there's always the token girl chasing after Lucky or torturing the Trix Rabbit, maybe playing field hockey with Tony the Tiger, but you don't see those kids on the box. 

Certainly girls eat cereal too, right? I know a decent amount of women, and I'm pretty sure I've seen them eat cereal before. It's not an inherently masculine food. Is it a matter of the excessive male dominance seen in media for youth? Sure, most cartoons and children's shows have predominantly male casts, but even there we see female leads that can appeal to boys as well as girls. Where are the Powerpuff Girls of grain-based cold breakfasts?

Oh. Still, it's a limited edition based on an existing franchise. Doesn't count.

Still, there is one woman in cereal. Her name is Katy Kangaroo, and you don't know who she is.

Who?

This is the mascot for Malt-O-Meal cereals, known for their affordable knock-offs of popular cereals. You've probably seen these in box-less bags at the bottom of the cereal shelves. This is the place for women in cereal. Katy is stuck on knock-off bags that children don't want with her son. Even on generic discounts a woman needs a male co-star. It's embarrassing, really.

Oh, and so far as I can tell from Malt-O-Meal's website, Katy no longer appears on the packaging.

So... yeah... no women in cereal. There are very few women in breakfast in general, now that I think about it, and they're all stuck being syrup mascots. Buttersworth, Jemina, good for you for making it into such a male-dominated field.